| As your teenager is becoming more independent and is trying to develop her own identity, she may become more rebellious and begin to test your rules and limits more than she did in her school age years. You will probably have to rethink your methods of discipline at this age. Time out will usually not work on teens, and they will not blindly accept all of your rules. While you still need to be firm and set limits over important issues, you can learn to allow her more freedom as she continues to search for her identity and become more independent. Limit rules to important issues, such as curfews, driving safety, and household chores.
Some tips for effectively disciplining your adolescent child include trying to avoid power struggles, offer choices as often as possible, learn to negotiate more over some of the more unimportant rules, decrease the number of rules, and be clear about what your expectations are for your child and what the consequences of disobedience will be.
Some strategies that can work to improve your child's behavior include allowing your child to see the natural consequences of his actions (if she leaves her bike out and it is stolen, then she can't ride it), logical consequences (if she doesn't put gas in the car, then she won't be able to use it), and the most important at this age, withholding privileges (find things that your child enjoys, for example, talking on the phone, renting movies, going out with friends on the weekend, etc. and take them away when she misbehaves). Always remember to be firm, consistent, calm and loving in whatever discipline methods you choose. |
| While your teenager may seem like she is moving away from you, she will still depend on you quite a bit, and she should feel like she can come to you with questions and problems. When she does come to you, try and listen carefully without interrupting. Avoid criticizing or trying to fix all of your child's problems for her. Instead, be supportive and offer suggestions on what you think is the right thing to do. And finally, be supportive of her decisions involving problems that aren't very serious. Even if she makes some wrong choices, it will teach to take responsibility for solving her problems. Be more aggressive in intervening with more serious situations, such as drug or alcohol use.
It is also important to respect your child's growing need for privacy.
|
